I 'm 47 years of age, and for as long as I can remember, have suffered from what is called ‘ Social Phobia'. 

What is Social Phobia?

Until fairly recently I had no idea myself. I just considered myself a freak; someone who couldn't cope when amongst people; someone who didn't want to socialise, celebrate weddings, Christmas; attend family functions like funerals for instance, and believed what people said when I tried to tell them I just couldn't cope with events such as these.
What did they say?

“ Pull your socks up !” “ No one's going to hurt you!”

Just a couple of examples which always cut to the bone!

The simple truth is, that people who come out with statements like these just do not, or will not, understand what social Phobia (or whatever you want to call it) can be like. I don't blame these people. I don't even understand fully what it is that happens to me when I'm around strangers (sometimes even with people I like and know well) or in crowds, or social situations. All I know is that the ‘ fear', the ‘ terror', can overwhelm one's senses so much that normal everyday functions become quite impossible; simple everyday tasks become a fumbling, major problem to overcome; and when things inevitably do go wrong, or when someone says something that hurts, the loss of confidence and the feeling of humiliation is so great that (in my case anyway) I resolve to cut that hurt out of my life. Thus, if the hurt happened in a particular shop, I would not go into that shop again. If it happened in a street, I would not go down that street again; and so on, and so on. It wasn't until my Counsellor pointed out that I was making my world smaller and smaller, and that I realised and acknowledged I was doing this, that I began to fight back and push the boundaries back the other way.

Pushing those boundaries back was, and still is, a painfully slow process; one which I've resisted, and continue to resist in many situations; but at least I have a certain amount of self respect back. I've been doing a lot of Voluntary work in the past few years, work with no real pressure attached, (in terms of having to turn up and mingle with people etc) and work which has gotten me out of doors more than I'm in; something very important to people who suffer from SP. I'm very proud of my Voluntary work and would recommend it to anyone in a similar position to myself.

I haven't set out here to explain or give a diagnosis for Social Phobia; every person who suffers from it is a unique individual and will have differing views, different experiences; the above are just a few of mine, the tip of the iceberg. What I hope to achieve here is an understanding of what is a very real and often frightening problem, but one which is mostly invisible to others. Understanding is what Social Phobics need most of all.